More Than Just A Whore

Here I am

Once again

On my own

Feels like stone

I hate getting use to someone being there

Knowing one day it’ll all be clear

And once again i’ll be sitting here

In this place of fear

I know it’s wrong

I know im strong

But someday I hope I won’t have to be

A day where it won’t be just me

I hope someday I’ll find someone I can trust

And isn’t there just for lust

I hope someday he keeps his word

Instead of continuing this cycle of finding myself on the curb

He says “trust me”

“I’m not that guy”

But then he’s gets his fix and he’s gone in the blink of an eye

Is it me?

Could I have done more?

Have a really become just one thing in a man’s eye “a whore”?

It’s been this way since I can remember

Starting with the next door neighbor

Is this some kind of life purpose

Or just one of life’s curses?

Was there something I did to deserve the cards that were dealt?

Cuz why does that girl get to live her dreams on top of the hill?

I hope someday i’ll be protected

And no longer go through being rejected

Because I’m not done being “perfected”

I hope someday someone can look at me more than an object

And take time to reflect

And for once maybe connect

Rather than dealing with the neglect

And feeling as little as an insect

I guess there’s no reason

For me to sit here pleaden

Putting my hope’s in some hero

That will only rescue for a season

I’ll get my own ass off this curb

And not let another man touch these curves

I’ll do what I can

To make sure I need no help from no man

Try as you might

To break these walls of despite

But they ain’t comin down

I refuse to take the chance of this smile becoming a frown

Maybe just maybe there’s a mr. right

Trots in my life with a white horse and on top beholds a knight

But I’ll give it time

Let these wounds heal

And for a while let MY light shine

And let my body heart and mind

Be mine